Save Yourself
by ellesxjadore
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 6.10 A scared and fragile Jo listens to the screams of pain, knowing that they are clearly not a recording. ONESHOT.


Needless to say I was hugely unhappy with the series finale. Life is so unfair. I'm hoping the Robin Hood one will be more satisfactory. Here is some pain relief for all those suffering from grief because of the final episode. Meh.

Suggested songs: 'Shadow of the Day' – Linkin Park, 'Memories' – Within Temptation, 'Keep Holding On' – Avril Lavigne and 'Savin' Me' – Nickelback.

Enjoy!

---

"**SAVE YOURSELF"**

**A Spooks One-shot**

**By Sergeant Scarlett**

---

Both eyes fiercely closed shut, attempting to block out the reality. Reality was cruel, harsh, deceptive, and most of all, unfair. Gazing into darkness was more comforting now. She could see nothing. Breath still uneven, forced. Adam's were arms still wrapped tightly around her fragile, broken body. Yes; it was easier this way, though not altogether a remedy.

The screams still echoed violently in her head. The cries of help magnified ever so cruelly, shaking, causing her ears to burn. Her body trembled as Adam held her closer, attempting feeble reassurance.

"It's just a recording. They're trying to scare us."

But the screams sounded so real; real enough that they could be coming from just outside their cell. That thought alone terrified her. Eyes snapped open and widened in terror, analysing the cries as they got louder. And louder. She had been afraid of this. Although devastated, discovering he was finally gone was slightly reassuring. She knew the pain would slowly ebb away. But this…this was torture, now realising that he was still in pain; still afraid.

"It's Zaf…" she managed, her voice shaking with fear. "Adam, it's Zaf!" She couldn't keep the dread from shrouding her whisper.

Adam didn't speak; he knew it to be true.

"Adam, it's him; it's really him! He's still alive!" She sounded almost elated. "We've got to help him! He's being tortured, Adam!" She was cut off by a blood-chilling cry. She became more desperate. "We've got to help him!" She broke away from his embrace and headed for the door. He followed her.

"Jo, there's nothing we can do! We have to wait for back-up. Anything we do will only provoke the Redbacks. They could kill him." He regarded the determined look in her fearful eyes. "Please, Jo. Just wait."

"I can't wait any more, Adam!" Hysteria began setting in. "We waited once before – look where it got us! He needs our help! I am not leaving him again!" Her face was stern and set.

The screaming had subsided. Jo calmed a little.

"They've stopped. He probably doesn't know we're here." Jo's eyes were shining with unshed tears. "We could call to him; let him know he's not alone, not this time. Please… Can't you understand that he needs us?"

Adam sighed, knowing there was no dissuading her. He cleared his throat.

"Zaf? Zaf, mate, it's Adam! Can you hear me?" His voice became louder with each shout. They had precious time.

There was no response. Jo's face fell.

"Perhaps it was a recording after all…"

Jo silently began to cry. Adam draped an arm around her, pulling her into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jo. I'm so, so sorry."

"Adam…?"

Jo leapt up. A strangled voice was calling.

"Adam, is that you?"

Adam felt himself smile as his eyes welled up. "Zaf mate! How're you holding up? Stupid question, I know."

Zaf's response sounded pained. "Honestly? Not that good." A hacked cough followed.

"Hang on in there. I've got Jo with me."

There was a pause. "Jo? What's she doing here? Listen, Adam, I want you to promise me you'll get her out of here. Don't worry about me. I want you to go. Save yourselves."

Jo cut in, her voice eye-pitched as she choked back tears. "What? No, Zaf, we're not leaving you!"

His next reply came with long pauses in between words. He was struggling.

"I'll – never – make – it. Go. Please."

Jo suddenly became maddeningly infuriated. She began banging on the bolted door with all the strength she could muster. Adam carefully took hold of her wrists.

"Jo, listen." He spoke in a soft, gentle voice, and she became unnaturally still. "Zaf is dying. Listen to him."

Her whole body shook. "How do you know?" she said through gritted teeth. "You're just taking his word for it. He's trying to be noble! We can save him!"

Adam wrapped her in his warm arms. He whispered softly into her ear. "He's being brave for you, Jo. He doesn't want you to do anything irrational. He knows if the Redbacks took our retaliation out on him, he wouldn't survive. He knows he has no life beyond this. How could he ever get over it?" He paused as Jo began to sob silently into his shoulder. Adam bit his lip to stop himself from breaking down too. "You have to let him go. We both have to let him go."

"I – I can't, not – not after I've just found him again," she managed through heaving cries of despair. "How can you say this? He's your best friend, Adam. How can you give him up so – so easily?"

Adam suppressed a weak chuckle. "What gave you the impression it was easy for me?"

Jo's face gave a ghost of a smile. "Macho pride?"

"Something like that."

She snorted gently, and slumped down against the wall near the door. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes again, this time, almost peacefully. "They are coming, aren't they? If we hold on just a little longer, we can all get out of here alive."

Adam nodded, eager to keep her hopeful. "Just a little longer." They shared a smile, and almost enjoyed the silence that followed. They fell into a state of eager hope; not even the thought of their own imminent torture could lower their spirits. Help would come.

---

Endless silence followed. The light outside faded into a bleak darkness that consumed the room. A tiny light bulb flickered on above the door frame. The sound of nothing was a blanket of reassurance. They sat against the wall, Jo's head on Adam's shoulder. He listened to her breathe gently, almost silently. Neither of them said anything for fear of breaking the nothingness.

Out of no-where came a deafening crash. Adam and Jo leapt up as angered voices began to shout curses. The sound of running feet swept through the building. Adam grabbed Jo's hand and took her to the back of the room. They waited.

The door came down, revealing two figures in bullet-proof vests.

Malcolm Wynn-Jones and Ben Kaplan ran to help Adam and Jo to their feet. Ben opened his arms to envelop Jo in a hug, but she backed away. With a small smile gracing her delicate features, she walked with a quick pace from the room.

The corridor was dark and swarming with men in black armour and armed with heavy rifles. A few attempted to take her outside, but she resisted. Jo kept searching. He had to be there somewhere. She refused to regard the Redbacks as they were forced to the floor with guns pointed at their heads. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

After checking what she thought was all the rooms, she came to the last one. Harry and Connie were there, and so was he.

Jo felt her chest tighten as she took in Zaf's broken appearance. Half-naked, bruised, bloodied, battered, on the brink of unconsciousness. His wounded body was sprawled across the hard floor. Despite all this, what hurt Jo the most was seeing the sparkle missing from his fluttering eyes. They were cold; bleak; empty.

Harry was on his knees by Zaf's side. He was talking to him in hushed tones. Zaf was barely responding. Connie was crying quietly in the corner. Jo tentatively edged further towards her fallen friend. As Zaf saw her, the corner of his mouth pulled upwards slightly, showing a broken smile. Jo felt the tears slide down her cheek.

"Connie," Harry began, his voice laced with remorse, "get Jo out of here."

"What?" exclaimed Jo in a small voice. "No, I'm staying right here." She felt Connie take her arm as she watched Zaf's eyes slowly shut.

"Go now." Harry's voice was stern.

Zaf's body became very still.

"No!" Jo cried. Two armed men took her arms and began pulling her from the room. She struggled against them fiercely, even punching one. "Zaf!" They were stronger. They lifted her and carried her outside to the waiting ambulance. As they laid her down, Jo collapsed into a fit of sobbing, hugging her knees to her chest.

To lose him once was one thing. To lose him again hurt beyond belief.

---

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Everything is white. It is so bright that eyes squint away. Bliss. Pure bliss. Not a care. Nothing to worry about. No pain, no hurt, just a state of complete relaxation. Sigh. No need to wake up. This is perfect. Out of curiosity, eyes edge open. More white. Eyes focus. Slowly.

A room. White walls. White floor. Pure, white light flooding in from a window. Feeling… soft. Looking down…white sheets. A bed in a white room. By the side, machines.

A groan escapes Jo's cracked lips. She must be in hospital. But…why? She doesn't remember anything. The last thing she can think of is…

As if possessed, Jo throws off the sheets and pulls off any wires connected to her body. She walks tenderly to a door and pulls it open. Once outside, she gazes around the silent hospital. Tranquillity. Seeing a board with her name on it, she inspects it. Another familiar name is there. Uncertainty creeps in. That couldn't be right… The room across the corridor…

Jo moves swiftly. Pushing the door open, she looks in, her heart racing.

A ghost sits up in a bed. Reading a Top Gear magazine. Odd, Jo thinks. Ghosts don't read. Or look this real. Jo rubs her eyes as the ghost speaks. It looks shocked.

"Jo? Is that you?"

Realisation dawns. Jo feels the tears prickle in her eyes as she rushes to Zaf's bedside. She throws her arms around him in complete elation. "Zaf…"

She notices his eyes are wet with tears too. She feels his warm breath against her skin. "Careful; stitches."

They break apart, and Jo is thrilled to see his old lop-sided grin back in place, and his eyes twinkling once more. It is a beautiful sight.

"I thought… I thought you were dead," she whispers, trying in vain not to choke her words with tears.

His face becomes serious. "So did I. This is going to sound… corny, but when I saw you, I thought I was seeing an angel." He laughs meekly at himself. "It was comforting to see you. It made the thought of dying a whole lot easier for me."

Zaf reaches for Jo's hand as she perches on the edge of his bed. His hands aren't as soft as she remembers; they are harsher, older and wiser. But, his touch still brings a smile to her face.

"Did you get my message?" he says, breaking the silence.

Jo nods. "Yes. It was when Harry told us you were dead. I think I was the only one who knew what it meant."

"LV-2," Zaf sighs, "I knew you'd figure it out. I wanted you to know that I was still alive and that… that I loved you."

With some difficulty, he leans forward and gently brushes her lips with his own in a soft kiss. He breaks away, clearly in pain, clutching his bandaged side.

"Seeing you now," he continues, wincing, "being able to speak to you, and tell you how I feel… well, I never thought I'd get the chance. It's made me realise that I've no idea what's just around the corner. I don't know when this'll happen again, or if I'll survive it."

Jo doesn't respond.

"What I'm trying to say is that I want to make the most of right now… Shit, I'm not too good at this… I would kneel, but, given the current situation…"

Jo now knows where he's going with this. She can't quite believe it.

Zaf clears his throat. "I love you, Jo. Will you marry me?"

She doesn't need asking twice. "Yes." Her voice is barely more than a whisper.

"What did you say?" he urges her, his eyes eager for a reply.

"Yes!" Jo throws her arms around him, careful not to hurt him. Zaf kisses her forehead, grinning widely.

He sighs in deep contentment. "Thank you. Thank you!"

As they break apart, Jo trails her hand along Zaf's face. His skin is slowly regaining some of the youthful glow he once had. She thinks herself so lucky, as though she has cheated fate. She lost him twice, but here he is, his hand intertwined with hers. Jo can't remember a time when she was this happy.

Jo leans forward to kiss him.

_Yes_, she thinks, as they enjoy each other's embrace, _this will do nic_ely.

**---**


End file.
